Family Guy Skit of the Week

Lois and Peter are talking in the kitchen.

Lois- "I can't believe they didn't pick me as the lead singer in the church choir. Can you believe that, Peter?"

Peter- "I know all about getting turned down, Lois. That's like the time was working as a James Joyce novel in a library for hot chicks."

Scene cuts to library setting with tables, chairs and books. Two attractive blondes are talking in the middle of the room.

Blonde #1- "Did you see all the periodicals this place has!"

Blonde #2- "I know! Now I can figure out what's important in the world and how to please my boyfriend, because Cosmo says so."

Blonde #1- “Books are heavy.”

Blonde conversation turns to idle chatter as Peter enters the picture from the left as the novel Ulysses, by James Joyce, his body and face the cover of the book itself, while his legs extend from the bottom and his arms from the side.

Peter- "Excuse me ladies, I couldn't help noticing how beautiful you looked and..."

Peter is cut off in mid sentence by Blonde #1 in the style of the movie Swingers at the Hollywood party.

Blonde #1- "What kind of car do you drive." Blonde #2 can be heard uttering in the background, "Are you a cardboard box?"

Peter- "Well, I don't really drive a car seeing that I am a book and in fact, well, we really didn't have cars in Dublin in the 19th century."

The two blondes stare at him in silence, their eyes wide and in a look of incomprehension.

Peter- "However if I could choose a car to drive, it would have to be an older model Chevy Impala, or quite possibly an El Camino"

Both woman immediately turn back to their conversation in a snap of indifference, while book Peter remains standing and looking at the two woman. He is forever ignored.

Peter- "Bitches."